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Folks, I’m late to the party discussion that Elon Musk wants to buy Twitter. It’s ok, though, because people will be talking about this for at least the next five minutes. CEOs at Twitter must be as conflicted as Demi Moore’s character in Indecent Proposal. “Should I get into bed with Robert Redford, take the money and give it to Woody Harrelson? Should I fake it, or should I muffle my ecstasy in this pillow instead?”

What a preposterous idea. Have Muskostopheles and his Muskovites lost their minds? Seriously, do he and BeelzeBezos sit down to dinner with the world split up between their plates and tell each other “You gonna eat that?” Musk, we know you have no shame, and clearly you feel so muted you want to buy one of the world’s biggest megaphones. If Twitter goes for it, then they’ve sold their subscribers to the Devil.

Musk should take heed. He needs someone to tell him “no”. If he wants to buy something else, maybe he could buy us 50 years of peace, instead of another “piece” of whatever. It’s pretty clear he’s addicted to the word “more”, but more what? Since he has such a surplus, perhaps before anyone gives him any more tax breaks, he should bail us all out of our personal debts. He should eliminate homelessness, he should cure misophonia.

He has to be held accountable. Neither Musk nor Bezos have done enough for humanity yet- given what they’re capable of. Do you know why they want to get off the planet so fast? Because it’s about to ignite, and they want to have the first shops in space, control our discourse, and never be held accountable. Best to do that off world.

Musk must be getting desperate. All the Mad Musk Monopoly money is burning a hole in his pockets. It also stripped him of his mortal soul. I’ll be looking for his Tweet “I bought the rest of the world today with all the money I saved staying on the couches of “friends”. Suck it Beelzebezos!”