The New Lonely: Impacts to individuals’ socialization and mental health from the pandemic
We’re zombies now. While there’s still a daily question if we’ve escaped- “the endemic”, there’s a growing indifference among us, shaped by the specter of disease and death. Indifference arose because we’ve been conditioned to think and act differently as a result of the pandemic. Is it permanent?
You’ve seen it too. The changes are evident. We’re still crawling out from under this, and may of us don’t even feel like the same people. The question is whether or not changes will become long standing and cumulative. In the long shadows of sunsetting Covid, they walk among us, the New Lonely. They’re afraid, bereaved, numb, and they’re now crowding the streets searching to revive their sidelined purpose.
The overcrowding and return to retail as usual seems a materialistic substitute to reclaim whatever vitality we had before. Retail therapy if you will. Concerts will sell out because people haven’t gone in years. You’ll have to wait in line forever for ice cream this summer. Gobs of people everywhere, playing Covid Catch Up- all painfully still alone in a unique way. Try to take our attention away from our renewed focus and you might get your hand bit off…
There’s a problem here. Who have we become in our isolation? After years of mask mandates we learned to hide ourselves from others. We learned that even our breath, whether sweet or foul, was a thing to fear. So maybe we forgot how to breathe.
We stopped seeing people’s faces as they were. Instead we saw curtains over their smiles, shields over their tears, hair pulled back, sleeves rolled up as they battled this invisible giant day in and day out. We learned to see certain versions of others. We walked into gas stations, liquor stores and banks- with masks on like we were criminals. Admittedly, we got to hide. We didn’t have to fake some things, and we got distance from those we thought were too close. There was fear of each other mixed with carefully hidden desire for isolation. We hid from people we didn’t really want to see with the handy excuse we were avoiding exposure. Many said, “the pandemic actually helped me out”, whether it was work related or they just needed a break. Couples on the other hand, often took heavy damage in close quarters.
We questioned our commitments, our jobs, our relationships. We changed the face of commerce while learning to shop nearly completely online. Small businesses succumbed to the throes of inactivity. Big business consolidated wealth and power. Now when we go to a store they seldom have what we need. Cars disappeared from lots. Electronics, music gear, and rubbing alcohol skyrocketed in price. Shelves emptied time and time again. People lost their jobs, people quit their jobs, people died and couldn’t go to their job. There wasn’t anyone who could replace THEM. Some were calling it the Global Economic Reset.
Depression and anxiety became a loop for millions around the globe. Officials and institutions were so bewildered they posted endless news feeds that did nothing but point out the sheer powerlessness we all felt. Each of us feeling suddenly alone, with life as we knew it grinding to a halt. Holidays, birthdays, reunions, cancelled. Fear became the new motivator, and it drove millions into cocoons of despair. Millions took vaccines that had never been created, tested or used, and took their chances. Many more still got sick anyway and felt betrayed.
Cabin fever set in even when it was over 80 degrees out. Public pools, music venues, sports, amusement parks, movie theaters, shuttered. It was a war on entertainment and freedom. Every corner harboring the plague that could end it all. The silent moaning everywhere, palpable.
As a result we turned a blind eye, we became desensitized, and now we want to pretend none of it happened. The fact is people near you are still in shock from all of this. They’re scared they’re starting from scratch. They’re scared to try anything at all, having watched the world as they know it washed away in a tsunami of crushing chaos. They don’t like the way things are now. We traded a pandemic for the next Cold War, or worse.
Though it’s confusing, and frustrating to watch people flocking everywhere in an artificially created rush, now we attempt to recover. Now we face new social anxiety, a new economic landscape, a world of strangers we haven’t seen in years. Conflicts and machinations of markets resume. We are the New Lonely, and we’re scarred. We’re still vulnerable.
It is ok if we grieve. It’s ok if we’re reluctant, if we’re down, if we’re tired. Time is needed to put this to rest, and some will say the horror movie isn’t over yet. Perhaps the villain will rise again for one last trope filled fight now that everyone is clutching each other, thinking it’s over. We must smite it with everything we have. As the New Lonely heal and rebuild we look to the horizon for hope, promise and redemption. We huddle together in the darkness, hold our breath and wait for the silent moaning to stop.
Zachari George
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